Joseph Smith Papers-Journals

I always believed that Joseph Smith Jr. was a good man because in order to be a prophet of God one has to be. But I didn’t read many writings that came directly from his heart. He is truly an inspiring man of God. I found from his writings that he is very aware of his heart, desires to be in good standing with God, cares deeply for the safety of his family, depends on the Lord, speaks kindly of others, and is patient and trusts God with all of his heart.

                It strikes me that Joseph Smith would include prayer, his pleas to the Father, in his journal writings. I’m not really sure to what purpose he did that, but I think he just had an intense desire to do the will of God; therefore, he prayed to align his heart with God. He prays to be delivered from temptation. I don’t think he meant so that he didn’t have a trial of faith but rather, that he feared so strongly that he would err with God. He truly feared God more than man. I also gather from his writing down of his prayers that he truly believed that God would answer them. This unwavering trust in God is something I feel I must strive for every day of my life. Because of the frequency of these prayers, I don’t see Joseph as a man that was concerned at all with the things of the world. Rather, his entire heart was set upon doing the will of God. This prayer continues with his plea to have his heart filled with wisdom and understanding. I find it interesting that he asked for his heart to be filled rather than his mind. That is, I believe, because Joseph didn’t care for worldly knowledge.

“I feel very well in my mind the lord is with us but have much anxiety for my family”. I love this statement because, aside from the genuine concern that he expresses for his family, it tells me that even the prophet of God had fears. I don’t think this weakens his testimony or faith in any way. He knew that God would watch over them and that everything would turn out for their good, but he recognized that trials would come and they would not be easy. I have often thought that if I had fears it meant that I didn’t have enough faith, but now I don’t think that is entirely true. As long as we are righteous and humble and trust in God, fear, though not from God, may still creep into our hearts. It is not whether we fear or not that is a test of our faith, but how we react to our fear. Do we turn to God in prayer and ask that we may be granted the strength to trust in His plan? Or do we become angry with the Lord? I know from personal experience that Satan will try to put these feelings into our heart, but if we look to the light then we will not be filled with darkness. Though we may fear, we can be filled with hope and peace.

                I found many times in Joseph’s journal writings that he prayed for safety in travel or for the safety of his family. This is truly inspiring to me because I often take for granted these things and forget to pray verbally for them. This tells me that Joseph depended on the Lord for all things showing his humility. It is when life is going well that we forget to pray for these little things or don’t feel the need to. But in truth, we should pour out our hearts to God always or else we cannot be true servants of God. If we only come to Him when it is convenient for us or when we need His help than we have not given our hearts to God and we have not learned to depend upon Him. I feel that the best way to improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father is to pray to him fervently in times of joy as well as in times of despair. Joseph Smith most surely had a close relationship with our Father in Heaven. He knew the importance of this in leading His church.

                I am so grateful that we are able to study the life of Joseph Smith today and learn from his example. I feel that my testimony of this church, although not dependent on this man, has been strengthened by learning about his commitment to God. Overall, I am not surprised by his strength of character. But it is so inspiring to read his personal writings and come to understand just how strong.

Witnesses to the Book of Mormon

In my Joseph Smith and the Restoration class, we have 4 papers to write over the course of the semester. I decided to upload them here because I have found that I have learned so much in writing on these topics.

I don’t personally feel the need for the account of the three witnesses in order to have a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I have read it myself and prayed to know if it is truly the word of God. I have received my own witness to its truthfulness and I cannot deny it. But, I do find comfort in the Lord’s statement, “In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established” (2 Corinthians 13:1) similar to the comfort that Joseph Smith felt when his friends were allowed to see the plates and the vision of the angel that accompanied it. It gives me comfort especially as I will soon leave to teach the people of São Paulo, Brazil, to know that I will never be alone when I speak the truth. However, I am also grateful for the 11 witnesses to the Book of Mormon, because they provides a solid foundation when Satan’s doubts start to creep into my mind. We cannot doubt that they saw the plates, they saw the angel Moroni, and they heard the voice of God.

I find it so powerfully persuasive that when it was suggested that David Whitmer had denied his previous witness to the Book of Mormon, he responded with the publication of a pamphlet to make a public statement “that the world may know the truth”. And “in the fear of God” he declared that he has never and could never deny that testimony. For someone to go to that much effort simply to be sure that there is zero misunderstanding of his statements on the matter reveals to me that David Whitmer knew what he saw and heard. That he would fear God’s judgment to come upon him because of a misinterpretation of his words proves Whitmer’s testimony of the sacredness of the book and the importance of the work as viewed by God. David Whitmer knew that his ability to testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon was directly related to the promise that “the gates of hell shall not prevail against [him]” (D&C 17: 8).

Professor Harper explains the difference between first-hand and second-hand statements by saying that the latter are hearsay. That is to say that they are unverifiable due to their inconsistency and lack of credibility. Harper explains that their only value comes from their ability to reveal how people of the time felt and thought about the events that occurred. This distinction is important because as people look for answers to their questions concerning the Book of Mormon from many different sources they may get discouraged by the number of accounts that go against the book whether they say the same thing or not. But as we view these sources as hearsay, we can turn to the first-hand accounts and feel the power that they have to declare truth. These are stories of actual people who saw with their own two eyes and felt with their own two hands things that they are now bound to testify of truthfully. 

William McLellin’s testimony seems especially worth considering because he had left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; and therefore, would receive no personal gain for testifying that the Book of Mormon was true. He said what he said because he knew without a doubt that it was true; he couldn’t deny it. He explains that he has yet to find any evidences toward the falseness of the Book of Mormon higher than his own evidences of its truth. It seems to me that a man would be more honest in a personal letter feeling that no one except the intended reader would read his words than any other circumstance. However, this man who had apparently found some reason to be outside of the church, did not use this opportunity to speak anything against it, but rather, to declare its truthfulness with all of the power inside him. Further, if any man had credibility to testify of the Book of Mormon, McLellin did. Not only had he read the book several times thus receiving his own personal witness to its truthfulness by the whisperings of the Holy Spirit, but he also knew personally several of the first-hand witnesses to the plates. He spoke with them and heard their testimony and hasn’t experienced any other statement powerful enough to disclaim their truth.

From reading the testimonies of the witnesses of the Book of Mormon, I have gained my own personal testimony to the wisdom of God. I believe that He gives us all that we need to have faith as small as a grain of mustard seed. He gives us people who know something to be true and He gives us the gift to believe on their words. Although it is up to us to build upon this faith that we may withstand the trials of life, He does not leave us alone in this process. He has provided for us prophets and apostles who continue to testify of Jesus Christ today, the scripture of prophets who testified of the miracles of God in the past, and furthermore, the testimony of these 11 witnesses and others of their time whose testimonies we may lean on until we can say of ourselves that we know these things to be true.

Weakness and Strength

Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I have always loved this scripture and found great comfort in its promise. In my Book of Mormon class this past week I gained a new insight into what exactly this promise means. Similar to many of the other prophets who have contributed to the writings of the Book of Mormon, Moroni confessed and explained his weakness in writing. He prayed to have his weakness in writing strengthened. What I learned in my class is that Heavenly Father doesn't always take away our weaknesses. Rather, he works with them. Moroni's weakness in writing was not a problem to God because the Book of Mormon was translated by the urim and thumim. The fact that the Book of Mormon was written by imperfect men is a further testifier to the truth that God desires to speak with men and to the miracles that God can perform through ordinary men. In my Book of Mormon class, my teacher loves to say, "the farm boy did it again!" Joseph Smith was an ordinary man. He didn't have much education but he was able to translate through the gift of the spirit. God trusted him with the organization of his church when it was ready to be received on the earth again. God works through small and simple means. What this taught me is that I shouldn't feel down because of my weakness but rather, trust in God and place my weakness at His feet allowing Him to make these weaknesses strong or use them for good just as he would my strengths. 

Our Symbolic Journey to Heaven

Ether 2: 7 "And the Lord would not suffer that they should stop beyond the sea in the wilderness, but he would that they should come forth even unto the land of promise, which was choice above all other lands, which the Lord God had preserved for a righteous people".
Sometimes when we feel like we are doing all that we can do, we are given a commandment to do more, to raise the bar. This is not because what we are already doing is not pleasing to the Lord or doesn't satisfy Him, but rather, because He wants us to reach the fullness of our potential. Once we are feeling comfortable at the place that we are at, He gives us a new opportunity to stretch ourselves. While the place that the Jaredites had reached, beyond the sea in the wilderness was beautiful, Heavenly Father had a more beautiful place in mind for them, the promised land.
It is not enough to simply be good. We must be better than the day before. Life isn't about where we are in the journey but about who we are becoming in the journey. It's easy to discredit ourselves for making mistakes today, but that is exactly what the Atonement is for. If we were perfect today, then there would be no purpose to the loving sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. We can show our gratitude to our Savior by utilizing His atonement and allowing ourselves to be forgiven and to improve.

Love of God

When I came to the 12th verse of Mormon chapter 3 in my reading, I was in awe at Mormon's love and I knew that this was the kind of love that I wanted to have for the people of Brazil as I serve my mission. I was amazed that he would support them in battle, giving his life for them, knowing that it would be in vain because of their wickedness. I feel like that is exactly the attribute that a missionary should have. Investigators won't always keep commitments and they may be set in their ways, but a Christ-like missionary would love them regardless, and show that love through their kindness, service, and understanding. A Christ-like missionary would pour out his heart in prayer unto God "all the day long for them". This requires a self-less heart. A mission is not about how many baptisms one gets or about how a missionary grows although those are benefits, it is about the people. A mission is about how the people change because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is about how the spirit works in their hearts to make them a better and a happier people. It is about bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. I am so excited to serve a mission! I am so grateful for this opportunity to share with others something that is so important to me and has changed my life for the better and for good.

For a Small Moment

"For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer."

It's easy to feel pain and anger towards God when things don't go the way that we want them to. I wish I could say otherwise, but when my dear friend Madie died in a car accident four months ago tomorrow, the initial impact of pain and confusion carried with it a piece of anger and resentment to my Heavenly Father for taking her away from her family and friends that love her so much. Although God never truly leaves us alone (we can always reach out to Him in prayer and He is always aware of our needs) there are times when He chooses not to take away our pain. He is all powerful. He could have brought Madie back or taken the emptiness in our hearts away, but He chose not to because He knew that it would work out for our good. Sometimes God doesn't intervene because we need the opportunity to grow. I know from my own experience of this trial; however, that He never leaves us comfortless. When a friend paused in the hallway to give me a hug and ask me how I was doing, I knew that Heavenly Father was working through others to help me feel love and peace. When my Family Home Evening father brought me a thoughtful treat and expressed his love and concern, I knew that I didn't have to go through it alone. That is what the first sentence means to me.

The second is a little different. When we sin, consequences follow and our Heavenly Father is not able to give us the blessings He wants to and remain a just God. He must hide His face from us for a small moment because God cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance. But when we come to Him with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, He will have mercy on us. When we repent, He will return to us everlasting kindness and we will be blessed for our faith in His son and the power of His Atonement.

All we have to offer

In 3 Nephi 18 of the Book of Mormon, Christ gives the sacrament to the people. He commanded them that they should "bring forth some bread and wine unto him" (verse 1). In my Book of Mormon class this past week, we discussed the irony of this situation. Christ could have easily made the bread appear on His own. Instead, he had the Nephites go and get of the bread they had. Most likely this bread was of much poorer value than the bread that Christ could have given them. In fact, in chapter 20 of 3 Nephi, Christ does just this. Verses 6 and 7 read, "Now, there had been no bread, neither wine, brought by the disciples, neither by the multitude; But he truly gave unto them bread to eat, and also wine to drink". If Christ didn't need the Nephites to get the bread then why did he? I think it is because, like all things in life we learn better by doing. Christ asked something of the people. They followed through. I believe that obedience to this one request would have helped them to gain a testimony of the promises associated with being obedient: happiness, safety, peace, power, blessings, and the ability to become like our Savior by submitting our will to His. Living the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about doing. We cannot progress without doing the will of the Father and sacrificing our own desires for something of eternal reward. Heavenly Father knows this which is part of why he asks us to fast, to pay our tithing, to serve others, to attend a 3 hour long church, to pray, and to read our scriptures. Heavenly Father doesn't benefit personally from any of these sacrifices we make. They are for us. They help us to grow and to ultimately become like Him.

Come unto me as a little child

3 Nephi 9: 22 Therefore, whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the kingdom of God. Behold, for such I have laid down my life, and have taken it up again; therefore repent, and come unto me ye ends of the earth, and be saved.

Brother Griffin's Book of Mormon class has opened my eyes to a new way of reading the scriptures. Never in my reading have I really given thought to how the people being talked about actually felt, what they saw, or how they reacted to these things. After this scripture was read, Brother Griffin posed the question, "where do you think the children were at this time?" I know that if I had been young at this time in history, I would have made every effort possible to stay close to my parents. Unable to see through the thick darkness, I would have been reaching out for a piece of fabric, for a shoulder, a wrist, an index finger, anything that I could hold onto so that I could feel safe. Knowing that I was with my parents would help me to feel protected because I know that they would do anything for me. In reverse, I know that my mom and dad love me so much that they would be reaching out to me. They would have held onto me so tightly the minute the destruction began and they would make every effort to keep me safe throughout it. So, when the Nephites heard these words "as a little child" how did they react? Did they look down at the child they held in their hands, the child frightened and confused, clinging to them for dear life? It makes sense to me. So then, one way to interpret the Savior's words "as a little child" is to realize that in order to inherit the kingdom of God we must cling to the Savior. In other words we must pray fervently and with faith knowing that He will hear our prayers and that it is ONLY through Him that we can be saved or that we can survive our latest trial. We must feast upon the words of Christ (the scriptures) with ferocious hunger. We must be steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments and in serving our God. Our testimonies must be strong in this day. Satan's power is strong, but with Christ we cannot fail. As I have been preparing for my mission, I have realized the importance of these things. It is not enough to go through the motions of reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, but when I do these things with full purpose of heart, there is no power strong enough to break my testimony.

Push forward through prayer

Recently, I have been making the effort to make my prayers more meaningful and to really rely on the Lord through my prayers. This week in class we discussed the story of Samuel the Lamanite, a prophet of God who prophesied of the signs of Christ's birth. At the time when the signs were supposed to occur many of the Nephites lost faith and began to doubt that the signs would come. This group of people then began to persecute those that still believed that the signs would come and Christ would come into the world. They set a date that they would kill all those who believed that Christ would come if the sign hadn't been given by the end of that day. 3 Nephi 1:11-13 says "And it came to pass that he went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people, yea, those who were about to be destroyed because of their faith in the tradition of their fathers. And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him, saying: Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets." In past times when I have read this passage I always assumed that the date was decided to be the next day, and so Nephi prayed that night, and the sign was given. In class, Brother Griffin presented a more reasonable alternative. Imagine that the date was set to be a few weeks later. Nephi would have prayed every day until the sign came. In the scripture, it says that he prayed in behalf of his people. His life was also at stake and yet he was more concerned for his people. I love this way of interpreting the story so much better (even though we cannot be completely sure on the details) because it is more consistent with how Heavenly Father answers prayers. To quote my teacher, "Prayer is not about pushing buttons, it is about pushing yourself." Heavenly Father doesn't often answer our prayers immediately. Rather, He allows us an opportunity for growth by delaying the time that he answers our prayers. While the natural man might wonder why God didn't choose to just put us out of our misery, it is important to remember that this life is our time to grow and become like God. As I've been thinking about how to make my prayers more meaningful, I realized that there are so many things to pray about. Here is a list to start with.
1. Express gratitude
2. Pray for strength and virtues
3. Pray for blessings
4. Pray for others
5. Pray to understand His will
6. Pray for opportunities to share the gospel
7. Pray for the companionship of the Holy Ghost

The Celestial Staircase

In Book of Mormon this past week, we discussed the famous pride cycle. For example, in Helaman 11, the Nephites start out in a state of wickedness. Nephi prays to have a famine come upon the people so that they will repent.When the famine comes the people become sorrowful and humbled because of the destruction that has come upon them. Seeing their repentance, Nephi prays to Heavenly Father to send rain again. The land then began again to bring forth fruit in the season and the Nephites were blessed and prospered. Just three years later the Nephites return to their wicked ways.
In class, Brother Griffin presented two other cycles. The Telestial Spiral remains on the right side of the circle when our own sorrows only lead to more pride and the cycle repeats. The Celestial Staircase; however, remains on the left side of the circle. This occurs when our prosperity leads us to be humble because we are able to recognize the hand of the Lord in our lives. Humility leads to repentance and then to more blessings and prosperity. This is the cycle that we want to emulate in our lives. We can do this as we put our trust in Heavenly Father and choose to lay everything at His feet. Everything we have in this life has come from Him so it seems only right to attribute the praise to Him and to turn to Him in gratitude. This side of the cycle is called the Celestial Staircase because it embodies the perspective that a person must have in order to gain Exaltation. This cycle depends on humility which is submitting our will to Heavenly Father's will, giving up the natural man, making sacrifices now for an eternity of blessings incomprehensible.

To the Wonderful Women in my Life

Throughout the past 19 years of my life, there have been women along the way to guide me and strengthen me. It amazes me how strong you are! Of course, I can't hesitate to express the deep gratitude that I feel for the sacrifices that my loving mother has made in my behalf. Mom, you are my best friend. You have been with me through every trial and have guided me with your sweet spirit. I know that Heavenly Father looks down and thanks you for the work you did in raising 4 wonderful kids. Several other women, sisters, teachers, church leaders, and friends have been a good example to me in my life.
In my Book of Mormon class this past week, we studied Alma 57-63 and learned about the 2,000 Strippling Warriors. These are young boys and men who chose to go to war against a more wicked group in order to preserve their religion, their freedom, their peace, and their families. The faith of these young men is absolutely astounding! But what amazes me more is that they attributed their faith to their mothers' teachings. "I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them" (verse 21). President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "I know of no better answer to the foul practices that confront our young people than the teachings of a mother, given in love with an unmistakable warning". Because of their mothers, these 2,000 Strippling Warriors had such immovable faith in the power of God that they did not doubt that they should be preserved by his marvelous power. And because of their faith, they were saved. Not a single young man was killed. My Book of Mormon teacher explained faith this way, "Faith is not to know that God can do something or could do something but that God WILL do something".
I am so grateful for the faith of the women in my life. I hope that I can be a mother as great as you. Don't underestimate the power for good that you have in this world. Don't forget how precious you are to your Heavenly Father. You are so beautiful to Him.

How to Prevent and Overcome Sin

In my Book of Mormon class, my professor presented an analogy between sin and the war chapters of Alma (specifically chapters 43-50) that has really stuck with me. I used to have a hard time with the war chapters because I only read a chapter a day or less and so the plot didn't make much sense to me. I used to shout out joyous strains when I had finally read through the war chapters. But this past week as I have been reading I have found it exciting to try and think of a way I could compare the war chapters to my life. I was also reading more at a time and so the story line became more easy to understand. I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat when the Lamanites and Nephites were in battle. I even found myself imagining what it was really like for the men. Camping in the woods, walking all day, eating meager food simply to survive, and then battling blood-thirsty Lamanites to protect your liberty, your freedom, your religion, your peace, and your family. There are a couple of strategies that the Nephites used to win the battle against the Lamanites which we can also use in our battle against sin.

In chapter 43, the Nephites have the upper hand because of their armor. The Lamanites show up naked except for a loin cloth. They were not very excited to see the Nephites because they were prepared."And when the armies of the Lamanites saw that the people of Nephi, or that Moroni, had prepared his people with breastplates and with arm-shields, yea, and also shields to defend their heads, and also they were dressed with thick clothing" (verse 19). Heavenly Father has provided us with figurative armor to protect us from sin. Some examples of these include: the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, the Pearl of Great Price, Doctrine and Covenants, prophets and apostles that speak to us twice a year at General Conference, temple, prayer, Priesthood, Seminary, and Institute. Heavenly Father will not force us to wear this armor, we must make the choice to put it on ourselves.

In chapter 49, the Lamanites are unable to overcome the Nephites in battle because their cities are fortified. This time, the Lamanites came with armor, but they were not prepared for the fortifications that the Nephites had built up to protect their city. Again, the Lamanites were discouraged."But behold, how great was their disappointment; for behold, the Nephites had dug up a ridge of earth round about them, which was so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect, neither could they come upon them save it was by their place of entrance" (verse 4). I would like to point out here that God is not playing keep up with Satan. It is quite the opposite. God is constantly providing more protection and Satan is trying to find a way in. We can build up fortifications by protecting and strengthening our family and our friends. Sharing your testimony, Family Home Evening, studying the scriptures, praying together, and fasting for each other are some ways to build fortifications around you and your family.

In chapter 50, the Nephites fortify the line between their cities and the city of the Lamanites. By doing this the Nephites were able to push the Lamanites back even further. They didn't allow them to even get close. We can do this as we push sin back through making a conscious effort every day to do better, by not allowing even the smallest degree of sin in our lives. We cannot be perfect in this life, but the daily efforts we make to become more humble, more meek, more patient, more long-suffering, more loving, more kind, and more obedient will make Satan's job a lot harder.

Although we are not literally participating in a physical war, we are in a war against Satan and against sin. It is important that we are prepared, that our testimonies are strong when trials come our way.

Alma's Conversion

Alma 36: 17-20
"And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

Now as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!"

I love the story of Alma the younger's conversion. It shows that no matter how far off the path we have gone, we can always return. Alma's father was the prophet and yet he went about seeking to destroy the church. Most of us have never been that far off the path. He remembered words spoken by his father and chose to experiment on them. He chose to believe in Jesus Christ. It was through his faith and his repentant heart that he was able to be forgiven. I love this passage because you can take so much out of it. He says that his mind caught hold of the thought and cried in his heart. I believe that one of the ways we can know if something is true and if it comes from God is if it makes sense in both our mind and our heart. Heavenly Father is not a god of conflict but of peace and happiness. Alma compares his pain to his joy after he has repented. This is a testimony to how happy our lives can be if we choose to follow Jesus Christ and put our faith in Him and how miserable we will be if we choose to follow Satan. Sorry, this week's entry is a little rushed. I hope you enjoy.

Without stubbornness of HEARt

I'd like to take this blog in a different direction now that Fall Semester 2012 is over and Winter Semester 2013 has begun. In my Book of Mormon class, we are required to fulfill a reflection assignment each week. This could be done in the form of a letter, email, or blog post. Each week I will reflect upon a topic or scripture studied each week in hopes that I might encourage my friends to come unto Christ and "be called His people".

This week I want to discuss Alma 32:13-16

13 And now, because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved.

14 And now, as I said unto you, that because ye were compelled to be humble ye were blessed, do ye not suppose that they are more blessed who truly humble themselves because of the word?

15 Yea, he that truly humbleth himself, and repenteth of his sins, and endureth to the end, the same shall be blessed- yea, much more blessed than they who are compelled to be humble because of their exceeding poverty.

16 Therefore, blessed are thy who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God, and is baptized without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe.

When we are young, it is most likely not our desire to go to church that gets us there every Sunday. Rather we depend on our parents to wake us up, help us get ready, and drive us to the church building. As we grow into our teen years and begin to have a stronger will power to do what we desire, we may need a little shove from our parents to get out of bed even though we feel that deep down in our heart we really do want to go to church. It wasn't until I got to college that I gained absolute freedom and I realized that it was up to me to get to church at 9 AM every Sunday. It wasn't until I got to college that I realized what agency is really all about. It is true that having a calling (service oriented position) as ward choir director and having roommates and friends that will know if I don't go gives me a sense of responsibility that I personally don't want to disappoint. However, agency is largely involved as granted by our Heavenly Father. Each of has the opportunity every week and every day to choose to believe and to choose to humble ourselves before our Father in Heaven.

I have heard others say that because of some trial or disappointment they decided to read their scriptures or pray having not previously upheld the habit of reading the scriptures and praying daily. I have also seen a pattern in my life of inconsistency and the need to be compelled to be humble. It usually starts out with a talk or a lesson on Sunday after which I renew my dedication to following the commandment to read my scriptures, pray, write in my journal, etc. The first couple of days or even weeks go smoothly as I remain strong. After an exhausting day here or a late night there, I consciously decide to let my head hit the pillow before my scriptures are read. It is essential to realize that I made the choice of my own free will. I decided that sleep was more important to me than what my Heavenly Father had to teach me. I chose to distance myself from God rather than rely on His strength to keep me going and believe that He will lift me up. That one night often becomes a few more nights and maybe a few weeks and eventually if I let myself a few months until I go through a trial or need God's help so desperately in my life that I cannot put it off any longer and I must rededicate myself to the faith. In this way, I am allowing my trials to determine whether or not I remain faithful, whether or not I will humble myself before God. My trials are compelling me to be righteous while my stubbornness of heart is preventing me from obtaining the blessings that God has to offer.

In a far more wordy way, I am trying to say that humility comes by battling pride every day. Humility comes when we choose every day to open our hearts and our hEARtS to the things that God wants to teach us. Humility is believing that His plan is better than ours, that we are stronger when we allow Him to lift us up, and that we cannot be truly happy without Him.